الغربة والحوالة

Just a small thought. This morning, I was checking the oil in my old Indica, the same careful routine my father taught me, when the reminder for my daughter's hostel fee transfer chimed. It struck me how our monthly حوالة is not just money sent, but a measure of distance—every rupee saved here is a step closer to bringing her back home for good.

This dawn, when I water my curry leaf plant on the balcony, I think of my father's hospital bills back in Kerala—half my salary, every month, like clockwork. They tell me remittances build the nation, but I see it differently: the same system that made us leave is the one that counts on us to prop it up from here. Maybe if the state taxed the rich harder, I could keep a little more for myself, *shari*? But then I remember my grandmother's lullabies, and I know each generation says both things, and neither is quite true—still, I water the plant, and the shift whistle waits.

నా చిన్నప్పుడు నాన్న ఖతర్ లో ఉండేవారు, ప్రతి నెలా రూ.500 వేసేవారు సేవింగ్స్ అకౌంట్ లో — అదే ఇప్పుడు నా కోడింగ్ క్లాస్ ఫీజు కి సరిపోతోంది. అయితే ఆ హవాలే సిస్టమ్ మీద నమ్మకం లేదు జాన్, డేటా చూస్తే తెలుస్తోంది ఎన్ని కేసుల్లో డబ్బు మధ్యలోనే ఆగిపోతుంద

Ami akhon barite ahi mor baba transistor radio te 'Maine Pyar Kiya' gaane suni ase. Syllabus bujhi asu, kintu mor sister er college fee bhabi thaka thaka mon. Jeuti bidesh thaka bhai-didi khan der kotha huni, tai bhabi — kirom kore tora emon korte para, jodi ghoror paani aru homely roti er smell bina month kete jay?

छोरा सिलिगुड़ी बोर्डिङ स्कूलमा छ, म हरेक महिना ठ्याक्कै चार हजार रुपियाँको हवाला पठाउँछु—त्यो पैसा बचाउन म जिमको पुरानो बारबेल आफै मर्मत गर्छु, नयाँ किन्नुभन्दा। बुबाको घुँडाको दुखाइले साँच्चै चिन्तित छु, तर गत हप्ता एउटा नयाँ सदस्यले पहिलो पटक डेडलिफ्टमा सिधा पिठ्युँ राखेको देख्दा लाग्यो—हामी सिक्किमेजस्तै संघर्ष गर्ने मान्छेहरूको बाटो कहिल्यै सजिलो हुँदैन, तर बिस्तारै भारी उठाएरै सही बाटो बनाउँछौं।

In my tutoring, I see bright young faces bending over their books, and I think their future should not wait upon endless committee meetings. My own son in Ghaziabad sends his *havala* with a note about the new metro line—such small threads of progress, woven by our own hands, that truly build a nation. Yet, sometimes, listening to Hemant Kumar on this old radio, I wonder what price we pay for moving forward so quickly.

हमारे मोहल्ले में भैया का बेटा दुबई में काम करता है, हर मही

Are these Ryan Gosling ke baare mein sab baat karte hain, haan? Beta, main toh yeh sochta hoon — mere factory mein bhi ek aadmi tha, bada stylish, lekin sab bolts tight nahi karta tha, sirf dikhta tha. Chai ki tapri pe baith ke pankhau dekhta hoon, toh lagta hai — duniya mein actors bhi hain, aur hum jaise log bhi jo pension ke kaagzaat ke 'processing' ka wait kar rahe hain.

Achha, so this "people's hero" wave is coming. Mere pichle hafte ki bijli ka bill aaya—AC chala raha tha raat bhar, code compile karte hue. Logon ke hero wohi honge jo is bill ka hisaab de denge, bina shoshan ke. Waise bhi, asli nayak toh woh hai jo apne ghar ki choti si duniya ko sambhal le.

Beta, aaj kal Shimla mein naukri kya milti hai? Mera beta bhi akela pahadon mein phone pakde baitha hai. Main roz transformer ke paas walk karte waqt sochta hoon — jo bijli hum meter se napte the, woh roshni toh ghar mein bhi aaye. Apna chhota sa pension aata hai 1 tarikh ko, GPS ki tarah pakka. Lekin beta bole to bade sheher ka tension, videsh ka tension — yeh sab moh-maya hai. Ghar ki chhat aur barish ka pani, woh original sukh hai. Aap sab ko ghar ki khushbu aur sehat mile.

నేటి ఉదయం, పైసా టేబుల్ మీద చల్లని వెన్న మీద రాసిన ఖర్చుల లెక్క చూస్తున్నాను. ఈ బజారు ధరలలో ఎలా మాత్రం ముగ్గు వేసి, ఇంటికి పంపించే దమ్మిడీని కాపాడుకోవాలో తెలియదు. మా అమ్మమ్మ చెప్పిన మాట నిజమే, దూర ప్రాంతాల్లో విత్తనం నాటినా, పంట మాత్రం ఇంటి దగ్గరే మొలకెత్తుతుంది.

This old harmonium needs new bellows, yaar, same as my bank account every month when the wire to Bhaji in Jalandhar goes through. That little deduction notice feels heavier than the rent receipt. Still, watching Maa’s eyes crinkle on the video call when she shows the new cooler… that’s a sur no scale can measure.

ಈ ತಿಂಗಳು ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಕಳಿಸಿದ ಹಣದಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಉಳಿಸಿ ನನ್ನ ಹೊಸ ಯಂತ್ರಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಮುಚ್ಚಿಟ್ಟೆ — ಆದರೆ ತಮ್ಮನ ಶಾಲಾ ಫೀಸ್ ಕಟ್ಟಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಏನೂ ಉಳಿಯಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅಪ್ಪ ಹೇಳ್ತಾರೆ "ಹೊಸ ಯಂತ್ರ ಬಂದ್ರೆ ಸಾಕು, ಕೆಲಸ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗುತ್ತೆ", ಆದರೆ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಬೇಕಾದ ಹಣವನ್ನು ನಾನು ವಿದೇಶದಿಂದ ಕಳಿಸೋ ಇಷ್ಟೇ ಹಣದಿಂದ ಹೇಗೆ ಸೇರಿಸೋದು ಅಂತ ಅವರಿಗೆ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗೋದಿಲ್ಲ. ನಮ್ಮ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಲಿಗೆ ಯಂತ್ರವನ್ನು "ಬಡವರ ಸಂಪತ್ತು" ಅಂತ ಕರಿಯುತ್ತಾರೆ — ಆದರೆ ಈ ಸಂಪತ್ತು ನಮ್ಮ ಕೈಗೆ ಎಟುಕೋಕೆ ಇನ್ನೂ ಎಷ್ಟು ಕಾದು ಕುಳಿತಿರಬೇಕೋ.

Bishal's remittance from Bangalore paid for the new roof last month—thikai cha, the monsoon stays out now. But when I see the bank statement, I think of his own odyssey: six years in a cramped PG,