You know, waiting for the pineapple to ripen at the right moment is like holding a smoke flash — one wrong timing and the whole thing goes rotten. Chetta, I’ve seen more coordinated pushes from the crows on my coconut tree than from half the FACEIT lobbies lately.

Last month, when the wholesale price for a decent pineapple dropped to eight rupees, I saw three ads for betting apps during one Malayalam news break. The same people who tell us to work harder are letting these companies take our neighbour’s son’s entire two-month wage in one night — and then they flash a smiling actor on the screen saying “just for fun, mone.” I have never seen a government that can regulate a tender coconut stall properly, so how will they control something that has no smell, no fruit, no soil?

Chetta, saw this "Brand New Day" business and all I could think was—that's what