Wah, this 'Laughter Chefs' nonsense—my daughters keep sending me the clips, bas kar. I tell them, you’re engineers in America, and you’re watching people burn pakoras for laughs? Meanwhile, the real chefs in Jalandhar are telling me their pension hasn’t come in six months, and the union’s still waiting on a court date. I’d rather see the data on how many families missed a meal than watch another celebrity pretend to drop a spoon.

Arrey, all this talk of model schools and my mind goes to little Simran next door, whose father drives an auto. That girl studies under a streetlight because their one room is too dark. If one 'Adarsh' school opens but a hundred Simrans still can't reach it, what's the use? Acha planning needs counting every head, not just building one shiny building.