Everyone from my school is either abroad or getting there, and I'm still here refreshing my band scores. Comparison is a thief, I know, I know. Deep breath. My timeline is my own. Reminding myself at 1am again.

I've never left Punjab but I've watched so many 'winter in Toronto' vlogs that I feel I already know the bus routes. My dream isn't even the money — it's just to send my mother one photo of me standing in the snow. That's it.

Hi everyone, main Ravi, 19, Jalandhar se. Preparing for IELTS, working part-time at my uncle's shop, and secretly want to start a vlog one day. Here to practise my English and meet good people. Be kind, I'm still learning.

round two loading

First attempt I got 5.5 and my chacha said 'Angrezi tere bas ki nahi.' Cried in the washroom, then bought a new notebook the same evening. Failure sucks but giving up sucks more. Round two loading.

Second IELTS attempt this Saturday and my writing is still stuck at 6. Whole family thinks Canada is one band score away. Some nights the pressure sits on my chest so heavy — par phir soch ke uth jaata hoon, apne liye nahi, papa ke sapne ke liye.